[in the Queen's dungeon] Queen: Slave in the magic mirror, come from the farthest place Queen: Through wind and darkness I summon thee Mirror: Welcome to the magic mirror scrying service. Mirror: How may I help you? Queen: Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all? Mirror: Famed is thy beauty, majesty. Mirror: But hold, a lovely maid I see. Mirror: Rags cannot hide her gentle grace. Mirror: Alas, she is more fair than thee. Queen: Alas for her. Name? Mirror: Lips red as the rose. Hair black as ebony. Skin white as snow. Queen: Snow White! Queen [to her guards]: Anyone interested in bounty hunting? [a level-60 guard comes forward] Guard: Yeah, me. Queen: All right, I want you to pk someone named "Snow White" Queen: She's only lvl 18 Queen: Bring me her heart and I'll give you a few mil Queen: Not to mention tons of herbs and pots Guard: That means I'll have to get her to lvl 42 wildy tho Guard: How would I get her to go there? Queen: Lol, use ur luring skills. She's probably quite gullible! Queen: Take her far into the forest. Find some secluded glade Queen: Where she could pick some white berries Guard: Yea? Queen: And there, my faithful hunter, you'll pk her! Guard: But, your majesty, she's only a little noob princess! Queen: Shut up! Do you want the rewards or no? Guard: Erm, yes. Queen: Just to be safe, put her heart... [the Queen gives a velvet box to the guard] Queen: In this. [scene with Snow White singing in the forest] [Snow White sings about a dream prince] [a bird lands on her finger] Snow White: Hello there. What's the matter? Where's your mama and papa? Snow White: Why, I believe you're lost. [bird chirps] Snow White: Oh, plz don't cry! [bird chrips] Snow White: C'mon, lighten up. Why won't you smile for me? Snow White: Lol. That's better :) Snow White: Your mama and papa can't be far [bird chirps] Snow White: There they are, can you fly? Snow White: Cya! [the guard notices Snow White singing in the forest] Guard: Hey lvl 18 Snow White: Err, hi! Guard: What are you doing out here? Lol Snow White: Um, looking for herbs, berries, and flowers Guard: Aha, I know a good place where many berries spawn Guard: I can show you where it is if you want Snow White: Sure, that'd be great! Guard: Ok, follow me [the guard starts to lead Snow White into the deep Wilderness] Snow White: Oh noes! I don't like the Wildy! Guard: Don't worry, I'll protect you Guard: I won't bs you either, I promise :) Snow White: Kk [the guard leads Snow White to level 42 Wilderness] Guard: Here we are [the guard activates his magic short bow special attack but can't bear to attack Snow White] Guard: Omg! I can't! I can't do it! Plz don't report me! Guard: Plz forgive me, ur highness. Plz don't report me! Plz!! Snow White: I don't understand Guard: She's mad! Jealous of u! She'll stop at nothing! Snow White: Who? Guard: The queen! Snow White: The queen? Guard: Run away! Hide! Just go some place! Guard: Don't let anyone find you! Guard: To leave the wildy just go south Guard: If you see any white dots, just log out and switch worlds! [Snow White runs away, crying] [meanwhile, the guard goes to kill a black unicorn instead] Snow White: Oh plz, don't run away. I won't hurt you Snow White: I'm so sry, I didn't mean to hurt u [birds twitter] Snow White: O, you sing a song! [birds twitter] [Snow White starts singing] [some time later] Snow White [to animals]: I really feel quite happy now. Snow White: I'm sure I'll get along somehow Snow White: Everything's gonna be all right Snow White: But I do need a place to sleep. Lol Snow White: I can't sleep in the ground like you Snow White: Or in a tree the way you do. Snow White: Maybe you know somewhere I can stay, tho? [birds twitter] Snow White: You do? [birds twitter] Snow White: Will you take me there? [the animals lead Snow White to the dwarfs' cabin] Snow White [knocking]: Hello? Can I see what your house looks like? [although Snow White is only level 15 thieving, she is able to pick the lock on the portal] Snow White: Shh. Aww, what a cute little chair! Snow White: Why, there's seven little chairs. Must be seven newbies that live here Snow White: Untidy ones, too [Snow White looks around the house] Snow White: And look, cobwebs everywhere! Snow White: Why, they've never swept this room. You'd tihnkt heir mom would Snow White: Maybe they're orphans. That's too bad :( Snow White: I've got an idea. We'll help them clean up and leave a nice little surprise ;) [Snow White, with the aid of the animals, starts cleaning up the house] [the dwarfs are working in the mines] Happy: W00t! Lvl 88 mining! Doc: Grats! Grumpy: Pfft, nothing special :P Bashful: Lol, congrats Dopey: Aw, only 79 here :( Doc: I'm almost 93 :) [some time later] Happy: Hey guys how much stuff we have? Doc: Hmm, let's see... Doc: About 1.2m coal, 7.3k saphs, 3.6k emeralds, 2k rubies, and 400 diamonds Happy: Holy moly! We could make a killin' with that! Sleepy: Pfft, let's hit the forums tomorrow. Sleepy: We'll have enough to get doc to lvl 99 construction Sleepy: Not to mention a pos Doc: Pos? Sleepy [yawning]: Player owned skycraper Doc: Hell yea! Sneezy: We should smelt them and then sell the bars Sneezy: We make more money that way, not to mention the exp Doc: Good idea! I'm almost lvl 99 smith :) Happy: How far to go? Doc: About 370k Happy: W00t! [back at the dwarfs' house] [meanwhile, Snow White wanders upstairs where she becomes tired and sleeps in the dwarfs' beds] [the dwarfs return home from mining] Doc: Look! The light's lit! Someone - or something - is in our house! All dwarfs: Holy Leeroy Jenkins! Something's in there indeed! All dwarfs: Maybe a ghost. Or a goblin. A lesser demon. Or a black dragon. All dwarfs: Holy Leeroy Jenkins! Grumpy: How the hell can someone enter our house while we're not home? Happy: Bug abuse? Bashful: Hax! All dwarfs: What do we do? Doc: I'll go report this to Jagex. You guys get armed. Dopey: Shh! Happy: We should talk in private, just to be safe Dopey: Yea, good idea Doc [clan chat]: Careful, ppl, check everything Doc [clan chat]: What the heck? Someone's washed the table! Grumpy [clan chat]: Chair's been dusted Happy [clan chat]: Windows been washed as well Bashful [clan chat]: Cobwebs gone? Doc [clan chat]: Wth? This whole place is clean? Grumpy [clan chat]: Odd Sneezy [clan chat]: Sink's empty. Some1 stole our dishes! Happy [clan chat]: They ain't stole. They're in da cupboard Doc [clan chat]: Someone check if our ores and gems are still there Happy [clan chat]: They are. Thank goodness for bank pins Happy [clan chat]: Somethin's cooking. Smells good Grumpy [clan chat]: Don't touch it, u fr00bs! It's prolly poison Grumpy [clan chat]: Quiet, you j00bs. Trying to get us killed, eh? Happy [clan chat]: What was that? Grumpy [clan chat]: Sounded close. Doc [clan chat]: It's up there Bashful [clan chat]: Yea, in the bedroom Grumpy [clan chat]: Let's att it while it's sleeping All dwarfs [clan chat]: Yeah, while it's sleeping Doc [clan chat]: Hurry men, it's now or never [the dwarfs debate on what attack styles the "monster" might use] Various dwarfs [clan chat]: Holy Leeroy Jenkins. It's a very large monster Various dwarfs [clan chat]: It prolly covers a 3x3 space Doc [clan chat]: Let's just cut the chatter and att Happy [clan chat]: Which end do we attack? Doc [clan chat]: Bring super sets and pray pots just in case [Doc wields a granite maul] [Happy and Bashful wield their rune picks] [Dopey takes out his dragon dagger (p++)] [Sneezy takes out his dragon battle axe] Happy [clan chat]: What is it? [the dwarfs remove the bed sheets and discover Snow White] Doc: Why, i-it's a girl! Sneezy: She's mighty pretty Doc: Shh! Not so loud! Don't let her wake up! Happy: Too late. She's waking up. Sneezy: Oh noes! Doc: Hide! Snow White: Oh dear! I wonder if the children - Snow White: Oh, you're little men! How do you do? Grumpy: Wtf are you doing in our house? Snow White: Oh, you can talk! I'm so glad! [to the surprise of the dwarfs, Snow White names them corectly] Doc: Now you know our names, why don't you identify yourself? Snow White: Oh, how silly of me. I'm snow white. All dwarfs: Omg snow white? Teh princess? Snow White: Yea [the dwarfs start arguing what to do] Grumpy: Lol, shut it. Someone expel her from the house! Snow White: Plz, don't send me away. Plz! If you do, she'll kill me! All dwarfs: Kill you? Various dwarves: Kill you? Who? Snow White: My stepmother, the queen. All dwarfs: The queen! She's wicked! Happy: She's bad Sneezy: She's mighty mean Grumpy: And she's a lurer, too Snow White: But she doesn't know where I am Snow White: She'll never find me here Snow White: And if you let me stay I'll keep the house for you Snow White: I'll craft and mine and smith and cook - All dwarfs: Cook? Doc: Can ya make parden gies? Grumpy and Sneezy: Garden pies, silly! Doc: Ah yes. Garden pies. Snow White: Yes. And fish pies. And admiral pies and redberry pies. All dwarfs: Redberry pies? She stays! Grumpy: Ah! Curry! All dwarfs: Sw00t! All dwarfs: Pwnage! Snow White: Um, hold on. You'll need to wash up first [after a long time of arguing and a hard time getting Grumpy to wash, they are done] Snow White: Supper! Doc: Supper! All dwarfs: Food! W000000t! Grumpy: Hah! Happy: Mmmm, meat pies and kebabs Dopey: Someone mind passing me an asgarnian ale? Doc: Axeman's folly for me, plz [at Queen's dungeon] Queen: Magic mirror on the all, who now is the fairest one of all? Mirror: Over the seven jeweled hills, beyond the seventh wall, Mirror: In the cottage of the seven dwarfs, Mirror: Dwells Snow White, fairest one of all. Queen: Wtf? Impossible! Queen: Snow white lies dead in the forest Queen: Here's her heart, see? Mirror: Lol, you got scammed by the lvl 60 Mirror: It's actually a unicorn's heart Queen: Darn it, stupid bser Queen: I'll go kill her myself! [the Queen makes a potion which transforms her into an old woman] Queen: And now a special sort of death for one so fair Queen: Ah! A poisoned apple! Sleeping death. Queen: One taste of the poisoned apple and the victim will be pwned. [Snow White and the dwarfs are about to go to sleep] [Snow White is worried about the dwarfs] Doc: Now, don't you worry about us. Happy: We'll be all right. Doc: Go right on up, my dear. Snow White: Well, if you insist. 'Night. All dwarfs: Well, night princess. Snow White: Well, plesant dreams. All dwarfs: Pleasnt dreams. [the dwarfs eventually sleep] [at the Queen's dungeon] Queen: Dip the apple in the brew Queen: Let the sleeping death seep through [the Queen dips the apple into the cauldron] Queen: Whoa, lvl 90 herby! Didn't see that one coming lol Queen: But wait! There may be an antidote. Nothing must be overlooked. Queen: Ah! The victim of the sleeping death can only be revived by Queen: Love's first kiss... Queen: Or a kwuarm-based poison cure. Queen: Love's first kiss, eh? Lmao! The dwarfs will think she's dead Queen: And bury her alive! Lolol! Pwned Queen: And kwuarm? I doub't they'll even know what that is [at the dwarfs' home] [the dwarfs go to work but leave Snow White at home] Doc: Now, don't forget, the queen is full of witchcraft. Doc: And don't step into the wildy without a good reason! Snow White: Don't worry, I'll be fine. Sneezy: And don't forget, be careful! Snow White: Cya Doc: Eh, I'm sure she'll be fine. Snow White: L8rz! Grumpy: And don't let anyone in! Snow White: Ok, cya for real, lol [Snow White is singing about her dream prince again when the Queen comes to the cabin] Queen: All alone, my pet? Snow White: Why yes, but - Queen: The... little men are not here? Snow White: No, they're not, but - yea. Queen: Makin' pies? Snow White: Yep, garden pies Queen: You know, ppl love pies with apple in them Snow White: Oh, they do look good Queen: Just wait till you taste one! Want a sample? Snow White: Hmm? Queen: Here, have a bite [birds try to attack the Queen] Snow White: Stop it, stop it. Go away, go away. Snow White: Shame on you, frightening a poor old lady. Snow White: I thought I lost it, I'm so sry. Queen: Omg my heart! My poor heart! Queen: Take me into the house and let me rest. Some water, plz. [the dwarfs are on the way home, singing] [birds try to alert the dwarfs] Doc: Hey, look! Various dwarfs: Stop that! Get away, get away. Shoo! Grumpy: Gtfo! Doc: Wtf is with these birds? Did they smoke too much avantoe or something? Sneezy: They're insane! [at the house] Queen: And because you've been so good to poor old granny Queen: I'll share a secret with you Queen: This is no ordinary apple, but a stat-boosting apple Snow White: A stat-boosting apple? Queen: One bite and you will gain great exp in a skill of your desire Snow White: O rly? Queen: Ya rly! Various dwarfs: St00pid birds. **** off! Grumpy: THis ain't natural. Something's wrong. Sleepy: Maybe the queen got snow white. Doc: The queen! All dwarfs: Snow white! Teh noes! Grumpy: The queen will pwn her! We gotta save her! Doc: Ya, we gotta save her! Happy and Doc: What do we do? Bashful: We should really buy some house tele tabs the next time Grumpy: Every1 set run mode on Doc: Wait! Queen: There must be some skill you'd like to advance Queen: Perhaps a skill you train a lot? Snow White: Well, there is one Queen: Right. Old granny know's a young girl's heart. Queen: Now make a wish Snow White: I wish... Queen: That's it. Go on. Snow White: That I was a better cook! Queen: Good, good! Now take a bite! Snow White: Oh, I feel strange? Queen: Her breath will still. Snow White: Oh Queen: Her blood congeal Snow White: Oh. Queen: Now I'll be fairest in the land! Lawl! Grumpy: Hurry, there she goes! After her! [the dwarfs discover that Snow White is unconscious and place her in a glass coffin, which Doc made with his construction skill] [the dwarfs chase the Queen and corner her on a precipice] Queen: I'm trapped. What will I do? I'll fix ya! I'll crush your bones! [the Queen tries to crush the dwarves with a boulder] Doc: Brace yourselves! [Doc pulls out a Saradomin staff and casts Saradomin strike, causing the precipice to give way, and the evil Queen falls to her death] Doc: Phew! That was close! All dwarfs: What the heck? We never knew you could cast sara strike! Doc: Well, you see, I did mage arena ages ago. Doc: My sara staff was just gathering dust lol [in the woods, after several months] [the dwarfs notice a prince next to the glass coffin] Prince: So what happened to this lovely lady? Doc: Apparently, she was the victim of deliberate food poisoning Doc: Done by some wicked queen Doc: She was so nice to us :( Prince: Perhaps she's just unconscious, not dead Prince: Some say that sleeping spells can be broken by a kiss Dopey: Well, it's worth a try, lol Sleepy: Yea, I'd so go for it Bashful: All right, everyone cross their fingers [Doc unlocks the coffin and the prince kisses Snow White] [Snow White slowly awakens] Bashful: Omg you did it! Sleepy: Omg miracle! Grumpy: Hax! Doc: 0mg h4x! Snow White: Prince be my bf? Snow White: I won't beg for stuff I promise :) Prince: Sure, of course! Pkuded4free: Lol get a life [Snow White and the prince agree to marry, which means that Snow White will have to leave] Snow White: Cya everyone! Cya Doc Doc: Aww, this stinks. :( Snow White: Cya Sneezy! Cya Bashful! Happy: Aww, this is sad Snow White: Don't worry, I'll keep you all added :) Sneezy: Would you mind sharing your recipes? Snow White: Sure, but you still need the cooking lvl Doc: I say we make Happy train his cooking while the rest of us mine [The royal couple now live happily ever after.] [epilogue: Doc's level 99 smithing "party"] This is an additional section that I added. It was not part of the original storyline. [The dwarfs, Snow White, and Prince Charming are at anvils] Bashful: How much to go, doc? Doc: 5k exp! Dopey: W00t! Almost there! Snow White: Wow [Doc goes to bank to get a full load of rune bars] Doc: 3k! Snow White: Mind if I get some friends over? Doc: Sure! Sneezy: Of course! Doc: 2k! [Cinderella and some other people arrive] Happy: Go for the 99, doc! You're almost there! Doc: 1.1k. Five more rune kites to smith Cinderella: Wow, 99 smithing? That's more work than I've ever done in my life! [Doc smiths a rune kite] [Prince Philip and Princess Aurora (Sleeping Beauty), and some others arrive] Philip: If I ever need more swords to fight dragons Philip: I'll know who to ask :) Doc: Xd Snow White: Funny thing, aurora's called sleeping beauty Snow White: Tho I slept for longer lol Aurora: Lmao Cinderella: Yea lol \m/Xxn00bl3txx: Lol [Doc smiths a rune kite] Sleepy: Yea lol Sleepy: I haven't even done dragon slayer lol [Aladdin, Jasmine, Belle, and Prince Adam (The Beast, post-transformation), and more people arrive] Dopey: Pfft, the server's gonna crash right b4 you smith that last one Doc: I sure hope not! Lol Happy: Lol maybe you'll realize you misread your exp Happy: And that you still have 1m to go Happy: Lol [Doc smiths a rune kite] Doc: Lol! Aurora: Lol Cinderella: Lmao! Grumpy: That would be hilarious Jasmine: So what you gonna do with those rune kites? Doc: Prolly alch them Adam: You should give me one lol. I love collecting armory Belle: Pfft, Adam's obsessed with that knight stuff [Doc smiths a rune kite] Bashful: Lol Doc: One more to go! Aurora: W00t! Belle: Go doc! Happy: Shut up and smith it lol Grumpy: Lol Doc: Ready? All characters: Yea [Doc smiths a rune kite and reaches level 99 smithing] \m/Xxn00bl3txx: Grats doc on 99 smithing! - Xxn00bl3txx Sneezy: Grats doc on 99 smith!! Prince: Grats! I'll never get 99 smith :( Philip: Grats on lvl 99 hammering metal bars into sharp objects! X_Acanthus_X: Grats on 99 smithing, welcome to da club Ultra_Pker: Congrats Z3z1m4f4nb01: Fr33 st00f pl0x Aurora: W0000t grats on 99 smithing! ---- Aurora Grumpy: Pfft 99 smithing noob Belle: W00t grats on 99 smith! Snow White: Grats my dear on 99 smith! [Snow White kisses Doc on the forehead] Doc: Eek! Lol Sneezy: Lmao! C0wz_G0_Mo0: Grats on 99 Booogie_Boyy: Wow awesome Jasmine: Grats on lvl 99 smithing! Full rune ftw Dopey: Liek 0mg a 99 smither Adam: Emote pl0x Aladdin: Emote emote emote emote emote emote!!!1111shift!!111 Doc: Thx everyone :) Dj_Dawg: Look, jagex blocks ur pass typed backwards! ********** Cinderella: Omg grats on the lvl! \m/Xxn00bl3txx: Owned! By rs mods. Silly pass scammers Happy: Grats on lvl 2 smithing! Mikeg23: Doc can i have free bars plz Lv_3_Skillah: Doc do u smith things for free? Aurora: Now go for 200m lol Dark__Lord_Z: Free armer trimming Philip: Your 99 smithing can pwn mine at any day \m/Xxn00bl3txx: Not another scammer :\ Philip: What's with these dumb scammers? C0wz_G0_Mo0: Ya lol, stupid scamming noobs Doc: 200m? Not anyone soon lol Doc: Will prolly go for 99 mining next (98 now)